The sun was gleaming with its rays. I was standing in my usual bus
stop and trying to avoid the sunlight even though it's and irony since i
work under the sun usually. My restless mind kept looking at my watch
thinking that i will be late . Late is something I don't like to add to
my character. And the bus came . I with a little struggle managed to get
into the bus . It was a Monday morning and usually it's so crowded on
Mondays since everyone will be returning to the office from home with a
face as if they are been forced to a place they don't like . I am no
exception to that feeling and my face was not too alien to that feeling
since I have it on my face too . I was standing in that crowded bus .
Suddenly a man rose from his seat next to me , then as if it was like a
bullet just shot from a gun a man came and sat in that . I was too slow
since by the time that man sat I just made up my mind to sit . He was
like a 4G connection in the 2G world wen it comes to getting na seat.
Suddenly an absolute silence came from somewhere. The only sound was the
roaring of the old engine . And there was only one thought in my head
too. And a vision , and rest of the things in m head was blurring in the
background.That made me think if I was trying to be 4G too. My routine
was programmed. All I have to do in the morning was get up when the
alarm goes off . Rest of the things is programmed like a robot . And the
only minute I think after i wake up is when i am in the bus . Like this
at this precise moment when one of my hands is in the rail on the top
of bus and another hand on the seat for the support to stand straight in
that crowd. This is the moment of truth for my everyday. I always think
if this is how I going to be further in my life . I see guys much older
than me , with shirts tucked in and nice shoes and a bag on the
shoulder. At some point I see myself standing there . With the same
expression of unhappiness and fear and insecurities I have now which
multiplied several year . Then a lightning of thoughts struck my head. A
lightning mixed with feeling of fear , anxiety and all the feelings
which spills out the adrenaline in me. It was kind of look back moment
for me too.
We
live in a fast moving world. Our smartphone is faster, our
transportation is faster, our connections are faster (3G,4G). There is a
shift from the thought that , earlier it was ‘ we had 24 hours a day ‘
now it shifted to ‘ we just have 24 hours a day’. The shift was that we
have to do so much things with this little time . This little time when
this earth takes the effort to rotate on its axis. We have started to
enjoy less of our time . And we started to live the next moment , not
the moment we have , but the moment we are about to have . A faster
connections have made us impatient. This impatience have taken its root
in all over characters , from waiting in a queue, waiting for a reply,
waiting . Waiting. I wonder if this impatience will consume me more and
more . And if I will forget to to be here at this precise moment than to
be in the next. I have to slowly convince my head that I only have now.
The present and hence its called the PRESENT. Slowly slowly , like I
learned to walk when I was a toddler , I have to teach myself
consciously. Slowly .. In this 4g world I have to learn to be 2G .
